bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
