butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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