if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
