We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
