You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
