birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
