They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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