I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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