This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
