Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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