Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
