Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
