We won't sleep together?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
