I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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