Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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