Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Too much gin, very little bucket
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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