A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
