i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
