So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
