What a fucking waste of an outfit
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize