Porn is love you can see.
i barfeds in our rink
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
