Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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