Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i now understand why vodka
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
