She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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