so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
