when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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