Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
