I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
