I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
whose ass print is on the piano?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
