oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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