The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
