So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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