glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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