If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
