I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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