got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
