I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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