I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
