Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
