Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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