I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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