Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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