After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
