SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
