yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
They have beer where we have blood.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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