Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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