I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
