We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
