well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
