people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
