she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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