last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
